Hitsuzen
by ChibiKojinoda
Summary: Angst but not without hope. AUish Kurogane x Fay. SPOILER WARNING FOR LATEST MANGA CHAPTERS.


Title: Hitsuzen

Series: Tsubasa

Pairing: Kurogane x Fay

Rating: M

Warning: AU, OOC, Angst, Spoilers for latest manga chapters.

Disclaimer - Seriously not mine, no money or cookies was made from writing this... sigh...

HITSUZEN.

He was determined not to feed - he wouldn't take any blood from the inconsiderate bastard who'd selfishly kept him alive.  
It made him extremely angry when the man in question merely stared at him with sad eyes when he informed him of his desire, "Do what you want then - I'm not going to force you." the Ninja had turned away and not sought him out since.

Days trotted by and he grew weaker. His vampiric nature meant he could feel the cells beginning to die one by one, and although it was an uncomfortable sensation - he relished it because it was his alone, and he had chosen to feel it.

On the eighth day of his hunger strike, Kurogane had walked past him in a narrow corridor, red-eyes to the ground looking weary and battle scarred. Once, Fay supposed he would have cared - would have hounded the man with taunts and teases until he chased him around and released his tension - it always amused him that the man denied he enjoyed it, yet always looked so much lighter afterwards.

On the eleventh day, their paths crossed again and Fay's fangs itched to sink themselves into dark tender skin - he could almost smell the blood pumping round the strong body and it was a physical struggle to continue ignoring the man and make it back to his silent room at the end of the corridor.

It was the seventeenth day when Kurogane entered his room again, informing him that the feather in their current world had been found and they would be leaving in the morning.

He wasn't sure what happened next, but when he came to his senses, he felt strong and replenished. Looking down at his hands, he was disgusted to find they were covered in blood.

Fay stood on unshaking feet and prepared to leave, to find his bait and beat him half to death for forcing him to eat. He'd only taken two steps when his foot came into contact with a piece of black armour.

His gaze followed the path of his feet, and he gagged. Kurogane was slumped against the door; a river of dried blood crusting his completely bruised neck. Jagged gashes that could only have been caused by his fangs were raked down the ninja's throat, some still oozing slightly, "Kurogane..."

Hesitantly he knelt before him, noticing the livid welts on the man's face - that would explain the blood under his nails.

The man's skin was too pale under the tan, and more worryingly his lips had a faint blue pallor to them.

"Kuro..." he reached a hand out and pressed it to the man's chest, a sluggish heartbeat pulsed under it and he sighed.

Carefully he manoeuvred the man into his arms and carried him to his own single bed, momentarily marvelling that the vampire powers allowed him to do such a thing. Licking the welts and gashes, he was pleased to see them fade and vanish - leaving Kurogane looking whole, even though he wasn't conscious or moving.

It felt like a restraint had been ripped from his heart - all the nasty remarks and coldness he'd directed towards the man were fading into nothingness as he sat watching him - all that remained was the desperate hope that Kurogane didn't die.

After a few hours, it became apparent that the man's heart was still labouring to beat, although like its owner - it refused to give up without a fight.  
Licking his hands clean, Fay hurried out of the room and down to the kitchen where he could hear Mokona and Sakura talking quietly to each other.

"Mokona," he picked up the small creature, "I need your help."

"Is everything alright Fay-san?" Sakura's weary voice was hesitant - he couldn't blame her, he hadn't been a nice person to be around especially when she'd been suffering so much on her own.

"It's fine Sakura-chan," he smiled a fake smile at her. "Kurogane and I just need to talk to Yuuko that's all - nothing to worry about."

"Alright," she returned his smile with one that warmed him to the core and turned his own grin real.

Returning to his room, he placed Mokona on the dresser.  
"Fay," the small creature looked worriedly across at the bed, "What's wrong? What happened?"

"I don't know," the former Wizard let his mask down, "That's why I need to speak with Yuuko."

"Mekyuu!" Mokona's eyes opened right out and the image of the Dimension Witch appeared on the wall opposite.

"Mokona," she smiled at the creature, "What can I do for you?"

"Fay wants to speak with you," the little thing waved it's paw in the blond's direction.

"I see," she drew out the word into an almost serpentine hiss, "You need my help Fay D Flowrite."

"I..." he was a little stumped at what he should even say, let alone what he should be asking for, "I don't know what happened."

"You went too long without feeding," the Witch was stuffing tobacco into the tiny end of her pipe, "You're body reacted to your mind's unconscious decision not to die and took what it needed - unfortunately for the one sleeping over there, it was all in one go."

"Is ... is he going to be alright?" Fay dropped his head so he wouldn't make eye contact with anyone - he was disgusted with himself. All this time he'd been adamant that he wanted to die, had been so close to achieving it - yet, it had all failed because somewhere deep down, part of him had called his bluff and refused to see his lie through.

"His body is still alive," Yuuko's voice was cold, "But his mind is wandering on the edge of departure. If you leave him much longer, he will become a soulless vessel - and as you well know, creatures without souls cannot exist in these worlds - he will die."

"What can I do?" the blond was growing desperate. Without his comforting web of lies and self-deceit, he had to acknowledge that the dark man meant a lot more to him than anyone ever had - even his beloved King.

"Well," the Witch smirked, "You could be rid of him altogether - let him die, or send him here to me - my shop is capable of supporting soulless beings ... although I can't imagine he'd last long knowing he could never step out beyond the gates. Or, you could make a wish - it is your decision Flowrite - no one else can decide his fate but you."

"Is this how you felt," he muttered, kneeling down at the head of the bed so he could stare into vacant red eyes, "when I did this to you? I'm so sorry Kurogane - I'm so sorry." a hot tear slipped free of his single blue eye and he shut it, not wanting to feel.

"Well?" the woman was tapping her pipe against the arm of a chair, "What's it going to be - I'm busy and he doesn't have much time left."

"I want to save him," Fay stood and turned, "I don't want him to die."

"Very well - it will cost you," she leant forward, displaying an obscene amount of cleavage.

"What can I pay with?" he whispered brokenly.

"Your masks," her red eyes flashed, "If you accept this deal - you will no longer be able to conceal your true feelings or emotions, you will no longer be able to hide."

Looking back at the still man, he took a deep breath, "I accept."

"Excellent, Mokona," she gestured for the white creature to use his power.

Fay felt a strange wrenching sensation - then nothing, "Is it done?"

"Yes," the woman had a sphere of shining silver light in her hand, "Now I will grant your wish."

A small red pouch landed in his hands from Mokona's mouth, and when he opened it, he found it contained a small vial of purple pills.

"Give him one of these every hour until the bottle is empty - he will live this time. But - if this happens again, if you refuse to feed for so long again, you have nothing else to offer me and he will die."

The image wavered and disappeared, leaving him alone with Mokona and Kurogane, "Please," he turned, "Don't tell the others about this - it will only upset the Princess."

"Mokona understands," Mokona bounced over and attached itself to Fay's neck, trying to hug him, "Mokona is glad you're back Fay - Mokona missed you."

"Mokona..."

"Mokona can see you're sad now ... Mokona doesn't just feel it. But let Kuro-rin close and he'll help - Mokona knows it."

A sad laugh left his lips but he returned Mokona's hug before releasing it, "Thank you Mokona."

Once the creature left, Fay carefully sat Kurogane up, propped against his shoulder, and pushed the first purple tablet into his mouth, massaging his throat so it went down.

Almost immediately he felt the Ninja's heartbeat strengthen and he breathed a huge sigh of relief.

He had lots of time to think over the many hours that followed. Without the crushing weight of his masks, he began to put himself in order - seeing for the first time just how many broken cracks ran through him.

"Fay..." Kurogane's voice was weak and raspy as he came to consciousness, "What happened?"

"I... I ... I'm so sorry," Fay would have been mortified to find tears rolling down his face had he not been too relieved to notice, "I'm so sorry."

"You fed?" the Ninja sat up slowly and looked at the small vial in the man's hand, "What's that"  
He was surprised when he looked at the blond to see nothing but naked emotion - no masks or lies, just relief, concern and weary pain.

Slowly, Fay related what had happened and what he'd given to the Witch, fully expecting the man to blow up at any moment and kill him for what he'd done.

Instead, he was surprised that Kurogane nodded, "You're better off not hiding any way."

"Kuro-rin..." the endearment slipped free without his meaning it to, but he was glad it did when Kurogane's eyes opened wide and shimmered as if there were tears coating them. He didn't get to find out though because they quickly closed and he was pulled tight into the man's embrace - they stayed like that until it was time for the man to take his last pill.

The next morning, their little group left the world and hurried along to the next - their pain and suffering still with them, but tagging along right beside was hope - and that's all they really needed, because in the end they were sure that everything would be just fine.


End file.
